Lamentations

Ahhg, I can’t post on my Blog. And thus I am unable to write out what the crap I am feeling for other to see. Hmm, this does not bother me so much anyways. I always feel guilty publishing a blog. I guess I don’t feel like what I have to write has enough value for others to read. It has to do with the fact that I wish I wrote a hell of a lot better. Ahh well, such is life.

So, I am beginning to believe that if my life was a film or a book, I would not be a sympathetic character. I am quite certain that I am not a good person. I am not necessarily a bad person. I am mostly just selfish and short sighted. I simply feel I am not the person I could be. We are all to some degree selfish, but that degree varies from person to person. I know and spend time with people who I believe to be more selfless and good intentioned then I have and may ever be. It makes me sad, that I think this way of myself.

Also, I am worried about how this line of thought has been affecting me. I have begun to question almost all of my actions. I simply cannot figure out why I do what I do. I just wish I was better.