Lamentations
Ahhg, I can’t post on my Blog. And thus I am unable to write out what the crap I am feeling for other to see. Hmm, this does not bother me so much anyways. I always feel guilty publishing a blog. I guess I don’t feel like what I have to write has enough value for others to read. It has to do with the fact that I wish I wrote a hell of a lot better. Ahh well, such is life.
So, I am beginning to believe that if my life was a film or a book, I would not be a sympathetic character. I am quite certain that I am not a good person. I am not necessarily a bad person. I am mostly just selfish and short sighted. I simply feel I am not the person I could be. We are all to some degree selfish, but that degree varies from person to person. I know and spend time with people who I believe to be more selfless and good intentioned then I have and may ever be. It makes me sad, that I think this way of myself.
Also, I am worried about how this line of thought has been affecting me. I have begun to question almost all of my actions. I simply cannot figure out why I do what I do. I just wish I was better.
posted by Humble Narrator at
5:14 PM
1 Comments:
I think that probably most, not all, but most, people who come off as more "selfless and good intentioned" than you are really just the same as you. They just struggle with something different from you, possibly a less public struggle.
Have you read the famous article/study called "If Hitler asked you to electrocute a stranger, would you?" ? Click here to read it. It came as no surprise to me at all.
Sorry to depress you further. But the good news (and it is good news) is that I've found that Christianity is the only worldview that makes sense of what I know is true of myself and everyone else. We are not good. Not one of us. I'm a one-point Calvinist. I agree with the "total depravity" thing 100%.
By
GraceKathryn, at 6:54 PM
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