Surgery got me down

When is enough enough? I hate this crap! I am having surgery on Wed…The day after tomorrow. I have dislocated my shoulder 3 times. They say after you do it twice you need the surgery and it is just going to get worse. But I have gone a few months without having a dislocation.

I am just really nervous about this. It has been really messing with my life. I can’t lift weights like I would like to, and some serious contact sports are out of the question. But I keep thinking…what if? What if my shoulder is healed enough to where I wont need surgery. This thing is huge. I will be in a sling for 4 weeks. I will be in rehab for about 4 months after that. I just don’t know. Is it worth it?

I did go a year before my second dislocation. And when it came out, it just popped out, there was a minimal amount of force to it. Gahhh! I hate this crap. I really really don’t want to be in a sling for 4 weeks. I want to have my life back, I want to be able to work out and rough house and have fun. Freaking shoulder!!!

I am not looking forward to Wednesday.