Dog poop and Drugs
Please excuse me for taking so long in this most recent post. My objective is to write about my most recent experiences while here in Europe, with a central focus on my last few days in Amsterdam. I have so much I would like to express, but I am not sure if I will be able to. I suppose I must start somewhere.
I had to awake at 3:30 to take a taxi across the city to meet the bus that would drive me to Slovakia from Vienna so I could fly from Bratislava for cheap. I went to bed at about 1 the night before, so needless to say, I was freaking tired after I got to Amsterdam. As far as my flight over, I flew the cheapest airline I could find. So, as a result, my knees touched the seat in from of me, and the little air blower thing did not work. I usually find flights relaxing, but I experienced some claustrophobia instead this time. I arrived at my hotel, which for 20 euro a night was an amazing deal. The heater did not really work, but we had out own room and our own sink.
That night I tried a space brownie. I have tried weed before on rare occasions, but I was in no way prepared for the extremely powerful effects of the space brownie. Which I learned the next day was supposed to be shared between two people. I ate my own. After eating our “meal” that night, my friend and I decided to make our way to the Red light district. What better idea than to get high and walk around looking at prostitutes. Now the critical error I made here, was to believe that Amsterdam was like much of the rest of Europe and relatively crime free. I was extremely wrong. After making our way to the red light district, which I suppose I could describe as the shadiest place I have ever seen, my friend and I began walking up and down the streets. We had probably been walking for about 5 minutes before a man walked up behind us and announce that he had a gun and we were to give him all our money. Now, under normal circumstances I would probably instantly have moved to violence. I am more than capable to taking care of myself and I was pretty sure after about one second that he did not have a gun. Normally, I would have hospitalized this man and had a good time dispensing some well deserved justice. But sadly, being incredibly altered by my first reaction was confusion followed by fear. After telling the man that he would have to show me his gun(which was actually a pen or a key, there is some debate between my friend and I) I walked with my friend into a shop and watched as Stupid Fuck McRobber walked off. There is a little more to this story than I wrote, but that is pretty close to the summation of it. I think that this experience I shall use as my don’t take drugs lesson to my kids, basically, this guy thought he could scare two smoked out Americans into giving away their money. And sadly, it could have worked had I not been more pissed, or had I been more high. After our robbery encounter my friend and I were offered multiple hard drugs on our way out of the Red light district. On our one other visit we were followed and harasses multiple times; however that time we were more prepared. I guess what I am trying to say is, some places are much more dangerous than they appear. And also, people suck a lot more than I expected.
I suppose that would be the central experience I will carry in my mind from Amsterdam. In my time there I visited many museums and art galleries, I went to a lot of the infamous smoke shops and walked around looking at prostitutes (the novelty of walking around looking at prostitutes in windows never runs out). But the adrenaline and emotions have burned that into my mind as the summation of Amsterdam. And I think it is a very good representation of the city. Surprising, scary, and simultaneously stupid.
In my next blog I am going to try and write about the differences between Austrians perspectives on cold medicine and Americans perspective on cold medicine. Which are actually drastically different from each other, much to my dismay.
I had to awake at 3:30 to take a taxi across the city to meet the bus that would drive me to Slovakia from Vienna so I could fly from Bratislava for cheap. I went to bed at about 1 the night before, so needless to say, I was freaking tired after I got to Amsterdam. As far as my flight over, I flew the cheapest airline I could find. So, as a result, my knees touched the seat in from of me, and the little air blower thing did not work. I usually find flights relaxing, but I experienced some claustrophobia instead this time. I arrived at my hotel, which for 20 euro a night was an amazing deal. The heater did not really work, but we had out own room and our own sink.
That night I tried a space brownie. I have tried weed before on rare occasions, but I was in no way prepared for the extremely powerful effects of the space brownie. Which I learned the next day was supposed to be shared between two people. I ate my own. After eating our “meal” that night, my friend and I decided to make our way to the Red light district. What better idea than to get high and walk around looking at prostitutes. Now the critical error I made here, was to believe that Amsterdam was like much of the rest of Europe and relatively crime free. I was extremely wrong. After making our way to the red light district, which I suppose I could describe as the shadiest place I have ever seen, my friend and I began walking up and down the streets. We had probably been walking for about 5 minutes before a man walked up behind us and announce that he had a gun and we were to give him all our money. Now, under normal circumstances I would probably instantly have moved to violence. I am more than capable to taking care of myself and I was pretty sure after about one second that he did not have a gun. Normally, I would have hospitalized this man and had a good time dispensing some well deserved justice. But sadly, being incredibly altered by my first reaction was confusion followed by fear. After telling the man that he would have to show me his gun(which was actually a pen or a key, there is some debate between my friend and I) I walked with my friend into a shop and watched as Stupid Fuck McRobber walked off. There is a little more to this story than I wrote, but that is pretty close to the summation of it. I think that this experience I shall use as my don’t take drugs lesson to my kids, basically, this guy thought he could scare two smoked out Americans into giving away their money. And sadly, it could have worked had I not been more pissed, or had I been more high. After our robbery encounter my friend and I were offered multiple hard drugs on our way out of the Red light district. On our one other visit we were followed and harasses multiple times; however that time we were more prepared. I guess what I am trying to say is, some places are much more dangerous than they appear. And also, people suck a lot more than I expected.
I suppose that would be the central experience I will carry in my mind from Amsterdam. In my time there I visited many museums and art galleries, I went to a lot of the infamous smoke shops and walked around looking at prostitutes (the novelty of walking around looking at prostitutes in windows never runs out). But the adrenaline and emotions have burned that into my mind as the summation of Amsterdam. And I think it is a very good representation of the city. Surprising, scary, and simultaneously stupid.
In my next blog I am going to try and write about the differences between Austrians perspectives on cold medicine and Americans perspective on cold medicine. Which are actually drastically different from each other, much to my dismay.
posted by Humble Narrator at
2:45 PM
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