This I do not know.

So, I have been more and more beset with second thoughts about my chosen major. More correctly, my chosen life path. I know who I am, I know generally who I want to be. But do I know what I want to be. No. I know that I don't want to work in the regular business field. Even if that means not having the dream house, with the dream car. But I do know that I want to do something. I want a job where at the end of the day, I can smile upon what I have done. Maybe, I will creat, fix, or destroy. But I want to do. I have these impulses. Like, I want to be this or that, they are strong. Like they are the wind and I am the kite. I feel if I wanted to give into one I could and it would pick me up, and I would not have to look back. But how do I choose which direction to sail. North, South? A doctor, or a soldier. I have the capacity for both, and the desire for both. But which one? I take these impulses and I hold them. I let them linger in my mind, and I study them. I hope that by looking into them enough. Like looking into the bones as a bocor does, I will be able to devine something. Perhaps, I shall find my true desire. What shall I do with my life.
Unfortunatly, I have never believed much in voodoo. I think Vienna may be my last time out. My last lifeline in the game of who wants to be a millionair. Before I have to make my choice. What shall I do with the days of my youth?